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Cycle of Violence

Abuse may seem unpredictable. However, careful observations of battering incidents have proved that often there is a predictable pattern to the abusive outbursts. The pattern, or cycle, happens many times over a relationship. Each phase may have different lengths of time, and over time the level of violence seems to increase in severity. Itโ€™s important to note that not everyoneโ€™s experiences are the same. As well, not all violent relationships fit the cycle.

Typical Cycle of Abuse

As shown in the graphic, the cycle of abuse has 5 steps.

  • Step 1 Excuses – I explain away the problem.
  • Step 2 Honeymoon – Things seem great.
  • Step 3 Routine – We return to the routine.
  • Step 4 Tension – Tension is building.
  • Step 5 Trigger – Something sets off the abuser.
  • I face more abuse. The abuse occurs, my self-esteem drops and the cycle of abuse starts over again. I make excuses.

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